Knowing When to Take a Break #2

For those of you who have not the first part of this two-part post, you can find it here.

Spooky Tarot
Spooky tarot can lead right into tarot obsession and then, of course, spiral into intense tarot burnout.  As a result, it is best to nip spooky tarot in the bud before it gets its creepy little hooks in you.  Not too long ago, I experienced spooky tarot and it led to my recent hiatus.   Basically, it occurs when the cards that come up in your readings start to freak you out.  Doing a couple of readings to clarify what the cards might be saying is okay, but if it only leads to more fear, take a step back.  Continuing to read the cards when they’ve spooked you is like taking the express lane into burnoutsville (or an all out anxiety attack).

It is inevitable that the tarot isn’t always going to tell you great things about the future.  I mean, life is, after all, life, and it wouldn’t be the same without those unexpected twists and turns.  In my experience, the people who want to know bad news are actually not as brave as they seem; myself included.  Trying to find out bad things before they happen is really a way to try and control future outcomes and it rarely ever works.  Being freaked out by negative cards is a good indication that you are trying to control things you can’t–which is, honestly, perfectly normal, but it can lead into murky waters that are not advantageous.

Take me, for instance, one month ago.  The death card kept coming up in my readings.  I asked the tarot some clarifying questions and the answers completely spooked me (this is, in part, due to a past experience with the Death card that I may share with you some day).  I was convinced that something terrible was going to happen and this feeling had a profoundly negative affect on me.  I felt depressed, out of control, and paranoid.  Luckily, I was smart enough to recognize what was happening before I started reading the tarot over and over and trying to figure out what it all meant.  Instead, I took a break.  I read my cards occasionally, but not too frequently, and I regained balance in my life.

Whether or not the Death card indicated something that’s already happened or something that is still going to happen, I don’t know, but I do feel better about things.  I’m not spooked anymore, so I know I can return to reading.  But, if I get spooked again, I’ll take another break.

Here, I’d like to point out that it I really think it’s normal and okay to get spooked by the tarot.  I’m sure some people think it’s dumb to read the tarot if I get frightened by it every now and again, but the benefits of reading far outweigh the risk of being frightened.  And, if it were that much of a concern to me, I could cut out cards about the future in my spreads altogether, but I like those future cards because they can help me figure out the direction I’m heading in.  So, I do keep reading about the future, knowing I might get spooked from time to time.  The key, here, is to stop reading for a little stretch of time after I’ve been spooked.

Sheer Exhaustion
These first signs that you need to take a break from reading the tarot are mostly about reading for yourself.  This one is about reading for others.  When you start feeling exhausted at the prospect of reading for other people, it’s time to take a break.  Clear your calendar of all tarot obligations and take some time to care for yourself.  If tarot is your main source of income, you may want to get a temp job for a month or a few weeks.  Personally, I like to do freelance admin work and sell books, so that’s what I focused on in the month of November.  Getting away from reading for others and, particularly, reading at parties, was vital in restoring balance and strength to my life.  If you can’t take off that much time, I recommend doing other little things to care of yourself.  The key is to make putting yourself first a priority.

Of course, exhaustion can come in guises other than feeling tired.  You may feel resentful towards the people you read for or you may find yourself secretly wishing they’d cancel their appointment.  Another good sign is blanket thinking about your clients or your practice; thoughts like:  ”No one listens to what I say”, “They don’t know how hard this is”, “My business stinks!” and the like.  This kind of imbalanced thinking indicates it’s time to take a step back.  While stepping back, you may want to evaluate what is happening to cause this exhaustion.  Is it just normal wear and tear or do you need to be more selective with your clients?  Are you not charging enough for readings?  Asking these questions during or after a break is a good way to refocus.

Summary!
These three items are indications that I use in gaging when I need to take a break from the tarot and focus on myself.  As with anything, finding balance is a lifelong pursuit, but it does get easier over   time.  Being able to recognize when the scales are tipping in the wrong direction and you’re using the tarot in an unhealthy way is a key in maintaining a vital tarot practice.  In my next post, I will talk about ways to evaluate and re-energize interest in the tarot after a break or burnout.  Until then, happy reading!

Further Reading:
Tarot Eon: 7 Early Warning Signs of Tarot Reader Burnout

Knowing When to Take a Break #1

Reading the tarot as many years as I have, I’ve come to know the warning signs of looming tarot burnout.  Many times, it’s when it’s hardest to let go of the tarot that we need to leave it the most.  If you’re a regular reader of the Interactive Tart Blog, you’ve probably noticed my absence during this past month.  By the end of October, I realized that I needed to take time off  to restore balance in my life.  Today, I thought I’d get started up again by posting about my experiences and thoughts on taking a break from the tarot.

Throughout the thirteen years that I’ve been learning and reading the tarot, there have been times when I didn’t touch a deck for months.  There was even a period when I didn’t touch a deck for over a year (which, technically, means twelve years of learning and reading the tarot!).  My longest absence was certainly the result of a tarot burnout, which ended when my future mother-in-law, who did not know about my tarot hobby, randomly bought me a deck for Christmas one year.  That gift brought my old friend back into my life and I spent the rest of the day surprising Jonathan’s family with reading after reading.

My tarot burnouts eventually led to short tarot breaks when I started identifying the warning signs.  There are a few different signs, the most pressing of which is tarot obsession.

Tarot Obsession
Tarot obsession can start out simply, with a great tarot reading that gives you sound advice.  You know the reading is good because it matches your inner feelings and confirms what you’ve already felt to be true, while possibly adding in a few unexpected insights along the way and accurately predicting how things will turn out.  Of course, there is nothing inherently bad about a reading like this.  In fact, it’s what I strive for most in my readings.  The trouble starts when you stop listening to your inner feelings and, instead, look the tarot for all of your information.

I’ve had this happen to me as well as clients.  Many times, it happens when I am in denial about my current situation and my feelings about the situation.  I turn to the tarot to tell me my feelings are wrong.  When the cards come up and don’t confirm that I’m just being silly, I shake my head impatiently, reshuffle the cards, and lay them out again, possibly being real creative with my interpretation and putting my worries to rest (of course, this creativity is not a conscious decision because I can’t to listen to my gut.  I think the reading is genuine and I feel genuinely satisfied by it).  Ignoring whatever intuition I initially have in the beginning of the reading (as well as what I’ve already felt in my heart), I use the cards as a tool for remaining in denial.   Not only do my readings become inaccurate, but I become obsessed with the tarot, reading it constantly.  The tarot becomes both a way keep wearing those rose colored glasses and a way to fudge some sort of balance in my life; now, since I can’t rely on my gut feelings, I start to rely solely on the tarot for cues on how I ought to feel.

If I don’t recognize that I’m doing this at the time, then I’ll continue along this path.  I’ll pick up my cards every morning with an anxious hunger in my stomach.  It’s almost the same feeling as when I spend money I don’t have in order to make me feel better.

Eventually, however, the bubble bursts.  The thing I’ve been in denial about all this time is unavoidable.  All of a sudden, those cards that have been coming up over and over again make sense in a new light.  Since I did not realize (or wasn’t willing to realize) that I read the cards in order to stay in denial, this feels like a slap in the face.  Not only do I question my abilities as a tarot reader, but the tarot, itself, actually freaks me out.  How did it know?!  Why didn’t I see it?!  (It’s a pretty incredible web that denial weaves, no?) I get so upset and freaked out that I stop reading the tarot for a good, long time.  Eventually, I face the facts that it wasn’t really the fault of the tarot that all this happened and that, if I really sat down and thought about it, I knew things weren’t right for a long time.  This process of healing can take a while, but at the end of it, I always come back to the tarot a little wiser than before.

Of course, there are variations of how one comes to tarot obsession.  I’ve had clients who weren’t necessarily in denial, but questioned their good instincts due to outside interference and, as a result, looked to the tarot too frequently in help with making decisions.  Or, another obvious trap that many people fall into is being obsessed with finding out the future.  Either way, the basic formula is that, for one reason or another, you stop believing and trusting yourself and start looking to the tarot for all your spiritual and psychological needs.

Continue to Knowing When to Take a Break #2

Breaking in a New Deck

Okay, so I’m a little giddy about this one… and who can blame me?  I finally picked up a copy of the “Halloween Tarot” by Kipling West.  The first time I saw this dandy little deck was at the Reader’s Studio this past May.  It was my friend Jen’s go-to deck the entire conference and I kept looking at it from the corner of my eye, hoping my envy wasn’t turning me entirely green.

Instead of immediately going out and buying the deck, I waited (I’d spent too much money as it was).  But, then I waited and waited and, after a while, I lost interest.  I started to wonder if the deck was too cute for tarot.  I mean, when the Tower card makes you giggle, you’ve got to wonder, right?  And then I booked a Halloween party booked and the Halloween Tarot deck began beckoning me once again.  Not only is the theme totally on spot, but none of the cards that usually look bleak look like anything more than another fun Halloween scene; which means, if the 10 of Swords comes up, I don’t have to spend a ton of time explaining that the swords sticking out of the person’s back aren’t as bad as they seem.

So, I went out this morning and bought my new deck.  I was still worried that it might not be the right deck for me, but after sitting in my car for fifteen minutes, looking at the images, a smile crept across my lips and I knew that I’d gotten myself a great deck.

So, now is the time to break in my new tarot deck.  For me, breaking in a deck is very similar to making friends with it.  Here are some tips and things I do when I start using a new tarot deck:

Look through Each Card
I think of this like looking at a picture book when you’re a kid and your mind wanders as the images soak in.  Take time to ponder each card and think about the meanings implied by its images.  Let your thoughts flow freely as the deck sparks different parts of your imagination.  This is an exercise that I do more than once when working with deck of cards.  Even with my most familiar decks, I enjoy occasionally reordering the cards and looking at them one by one, which can also be a great way to cleanse the deck’s energy.

Read for Yourself First
I made the mistake of reading for another person the first time I used one of my decks and I really regretted it.  It felt like I’d wasted the fresh energy of the deck on something other than building our relationship.  It’s as if I was attracted to someone at a party, they came up to me, and I immediately introduced them to my friend and then they had a long conversation while I just stood there and watched.  The future of a relationship like that is questionable at best.  And, to be honest, I’m still not completely comfortable using that deck, even though I’ve used it quite a bit.  From this experience, I’ve drawn the conclusion that first readings from a new deck should be dedicated to getting to know eachother.

The Getting-to-Know-You Spread
This is a simple three-card spread which I developed to help me get to know my deck a little better.  You can also use this spread for old decks that you might be struggling with.  Feel free to alter this however you like, with different or additional questions, too. 1. What is your personality? 2. What kind of readings are you best at giving?  3. What do you think of me?  The last card gives your deck a chance to let you know if it’s a jokester or if it’s a more serious deck.  So, since I”m here, I figured I might as well go for this first reading and share it with you.

Halloween Tarot by Kipling West

 And if I had any remaining doubts about this deck, they just disappeared!  The card on the left is #1, which tells me the deck’s personality.  For this one, I got the Hermit (isn’t it adorable!?).  I love the twist on this major arcana card because it speaks to an aspect of the Hermit we rarely see in other decks.  Usually, we find the Hermit alone, in darkness, being guided his little lamp, which is all about the inner journey and finding one’s self.  The side of the Hermit that the Halloween Tarot shows us, however, is quite different.  Here, the Hermit is analytical and wants to understand how things fit together.  Having the Hermit as my birth and soul card, I can definitely identify with this aspect of the Hermit and I appreciate the fresh look.  In the reading, I feel that the Halloween Tarot is saying that it might take a little while to reveal its meanings at times, but it is very thorough in its analysis of things and likes to know the inner workings of people and situations.  The little picture of the scientist’s goofy face in the background as well as the frog in the window and the severed hand in the Hermit’s pocket tells me that, even though the Halloween Tarot takes readings seriously, it can be quite playful.  A perfect match for my style of reading!

The second card, signifying the readings the deck is best at giving, is the Justice card.  This richly detailed card has a voodoo doll in the bottom left-hand corner, with a pin through its heart.  I feel almost like the pumpkin man is protecting the doll and judging whether you can draw near using his scales.  To me, I feel the deck is telling me that it is good at not only handling issues of justice, but also at protecting and caring for people who have been hurt.  His finger, which points up as if telling a person to wait, also confirms the message I felt from the Hermit card, which is that reading the deck and getting the full meaning from the cards may take patience at times.

The final card is what the deck thinks of me.  Here, we have the Three of Ghosts (in a traditional deck, this is the Three of Cups), which I was thrilled to see.   It is playful, chatty and very sociable; which I find very flattering!  I believe we will be fast friends and have a lot to talk about as in my readings.  A very good omen, indeed!

Use this Deck for Daily Readings for a Week
After you feel you’ve broken your deck in properly, feel free to read for other people, but make sure you keep reading for yourself, too.  I like to do daily readings for at least a week with a new deck, so I can keep the energy and the conversation going.  For those of you who may not be familiar with my daily spread, you can find it here. 

Spend Time with you Deck
Whatever form this takes is good.  Personally, I do sleep with new decks as if they are stuffed animals.  I also talk to my decks on occasion and sometimes I just hold them or shuffle them for comfort.  It all depends on what you like to do.   Going out of your way to have a personal connection with your deck will spark your intuition, making your readings that much better.

Carrying cases/bags/outfits I've made for some of my decks. Counterclockwise from left: Faerie Oracle, World Spirit Tarot, and Osho Zen Tarot.

“Clothe” Your Deck
For me, choosing what you will put your deck in is just like choosing a name for your pet.  It’s got to match your deck’s personality, so you really need to know your deck before you can choose something.  This can take a while, or it can be a sudden decision.  I have several decks for which I’ve made custom carrying cases.  On the right is just a sampling of the cases I’ve made.  As you can see, there is a wide variety even among these three decks.  Some, like the Faerie Oracle, did not feel right completely covered and needed space to breath.  Other decks, like the Osho Zen felt better in a secure case.  The Osho Zen also went much better with a brightly colored case than with a dark one.  These are all things you can discover about your cards with a little effort and time. 

When “putting clothes” on your own deck, feel free to be creative.  You can purchase something at a store or make something at home.  As long as it matches your deck’s personality and you like, then you’re in good shape!  I haven’t made a sac/case/outfit for the Halloween Tarot just yet, but I have some ideas brewing.  Rest assured, it’s going to have some eyeballs on it and maybe even teeth and ears.  I’ll make sure I post it once it’s done!

These are all techniques that I’ve developed over the years which I hope help you to build relationships with future tarot decks!  Getting to know a tarot deck can be one of the most exciting and rewarding parts of reading the tarot.  A new deck can reinvigorate your whole outlook on the tarot, which is a powerful thing.  Please feel free to share your own techniques for breaking in a new deck or an experience you’ve had with my “Getting-to-Know-You” spread.

Ask Cathy!

When I started this blog, coming up with any tarot topic that popped into my mind seemed appropriate and met my needs as a tarot writer.  Lately, however, I’ve been noticing more and more the things people search for when they come to my blog.  Some are very specific, like what does the death card mean in a reading about a relationship?  While others are more vague.  I feel that my own blog is hit or miss when it comes to dealing with many of my reader’s questions. 

For this reason, I have decided to make my blog truly interactive.. So, today I am launching a new feature on this blog called Ask Cathy!  Each week, I will choose a different question to answer and share with my readers.  Questions can be about anything tarot related, from how to read tarot for yourself or others, how I read tarot, why I read tarot or about specific cards, etc. 

I enourage everyone to participate in what is now truly an interactive blog!!  I’m looking forward to answering your questions!

-Cathy

Space Clearing Between Readings

I know it’s been a little while since my last post.  I assure you, I would have written sooner if my dog hadn’t eaten the plug to my laptop!  I have been without a computer for longer than I want to think about… but I’m back and I’ve got too many topics to pick through for this post!

So, without any further ado…

In my post about battling tarot perfectionism, I mentioned that I’ve been experimenting with different ways to clear my energy and ground myself between readings at parties.  I wanted to share with you a tool that has become indespensible to me in the few short weeks that I’ve been using it.  This tool is called tingsha bells or tingsha cymbals.

I first became acquainted with the tingsha (yes, we are already on a first-named basis) at this year’s Reader’s Studio.  Tarot reader and instructor, James Wells, taught a brief class on using the Tarot for inspiration to heal the world.  During his class, he used a pair of tingsha bells to start and end the session, as well as during the session to clear energy and mark changes in activities.  My interest in the bells was certainly piqued. 

Later in the conference, I encountered them again as I was shopping for a lovely rose quartz globe at a vendor’s stand.  A woman next to me rang the bells over and over quite loudly and right near my head.  The affect of the sound nearly knocked me over.   I quickly became dizzy and naseaus and had to sit down for a long time.   Although adverse, the effect left a lasting impression.

Months later, when I realized I need something to clear the energy between readings, I immediately thought of these mischevious bells and got myself a pair at the local new age store.  I am so glad I did. 

 

Photo of Tingsha Bells or Cymbals courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

 

You may have heard the tingshas during group meditations or on meditation CDs, when they are rung three times to mark the beginning and end period of practice.  Tingsha bells are also used by Tibetan Buddhists in certain rituals.    They are not traditionally used for space clearing, but sounds and bells have been used for this activity for some time.

Personally, I find the Tingshas are great for space clearing.  When I first used the cymbals to clear energy between tarot readings, it felt like a wave of clarity rippled out from the bells and readied the space for the next reading.  The sound also grounded me; reminding me to breathe and relax.  It was a wonderful way to open the energy in the room and to refocus my thoughts on the next person.  When my readings were done, I rang the bells again, and opened my focus away from the party and the tarot.

 

They are also remarkable at closing the energy of an event.  One of the biggest threats to my tarot practice is burnout from thinking too much about the tarot and readings have past.  During any event–whether it’s tarot related or just social–if anything feels knocked out of place or if the occasion is even a bit overwhelming, my mind gets obsessed.  It’s like a dog with a bone trying to chew its way to some kind of resolution.  Resolution, however, is never really possible and it may be a few days until my mind settles down.  With the bells, my brain drops the bone in a much healthier time frame. 

 

It’s interesting.  So many cards in the tarot deck are about the end of things and letting go.  Up until I got these bells, I would have told you I’m very good at letting things go; I love the challenge of the Death Card and the unavoidable surrender in the Ten of Swords.  But, the truth is, I am a pro at physically ending things; while emotionally, I hold on forever.  I can think of friendships that ended years ago and I’m still dreaming about the person.  There are grudges I’ve held onto for over half of my life.  It’s going to be a while before I let those old ghosts go.. but the tingsha has certainly hinted at something bigger to work on as they help me build an inner foundation able to let go and make room for clearer energies to come into my life. 

My Own Two of Wands

Two of Wands from the Rider Waite Smith Deck

Sometimes, when I’m reading for other people or at a party, I notice that the same cards come up.  Two weeks ago, while reading an event for teachers kicking off their school year, one of the cards that kept popping up was the Two of Wands.  I couldn’t help but wonder if the tarot was trying to tell me something through this card in addition to the message it had for others. 

To tell the truth, the Two of Wands and I have never really gotten to know eachother.  In fact, it is probably one of my more difficult cards to read.  The description given in one of my go-to websites for card meanings, www.learntarot.com, says that the two of wands is about having personal power, being bold, and showing originality (among other things).  While this definition makes sense on a basic level, looking at the Two of Wands in the Rider Waite Smith deck has never really prompted those feelings in me. 

The man in the card seems distant.  He is not only on top of a castle, looking down on the world, but he is also looking at a globe of the world.  It seems as though he might be out of touch and seeing things at such a distant perspective that reality doesn’t even play a role.  He may have the whole world in his hands (while simultaneously being on top of it), but it still feels like something is missing for this fellow…  I haven’t been able to make the connections between the interpretation of the card and its images.  As a result, reading the Two of Wands was very difficult.  Without that connection, getting any kind of intuition from a card is nearly impossible for me.

Since I’ve been working on my own tarot deck on the side these days (for fun and introspection), I decided to make a new version of Two of Wands.  I hoped to gain that necessary connection to the card as well as some insights into its possible interpretations.  Here is my version of the Two of Wands:

Creating my own version of the Two of Wands shed light on the card's meaning. Copyright 2009, Cathy Hughes and Cathy Hughes Tarot

 

Working on the Two of Wands definitely helped me understand its message better.  As I worked on the card, I realized that a few things from the RWS version had to remain in mine for the card to feel right.  First of all, the color of the man’s clothes in the card had to match the color of the wands.  Additionally, the color of the landscape beyond also had to be vibrant.  The purple mountains needed to stay, as well as the red housetop, green fields, and blue water (though my blue was more intense than that of the RWS deck). 

 

Realizing this connected me to the popular meaning of the card.  Here, the man does not blend in by wearing the vibrant and varying colors of the world.  Instead, he blends in with his goal.  He is also not distracted by the beauty of the world, but focuses only on his goal.  He is in a powerful position because his dreams empower him.  They are not part of reality just yet, so a certain amount of detachment is required to see the future potential that lies in wait for him.  While he does have a view of the big picture to support him, he chooses instead to focus on the journey (knowing that the big picture is there is enough).  The two of wands is a person who is acting on their dreams.  The time for speculation is over and he is striking out on his own.  The world may beckon him with its beauty and vibrant opportunities, but he has chosen his path and is strong in his decision.

 

At the same time, the negative aspects that I have always seen in the card are also still present, but don’t feel as strong here.   When creating the card, I also knew that he needed to be high up, just like in the Rider Waite Smith deck.  Being so high, he is vulnerable, and he is also far from the day to day reality of life.  The card warns of becoming too involved in making your dreams come true and not realizing how your actions may affect the world around you.  It also warns of getting so high up that you lose your grounding and have a long way to fall. 

 

In thinking about it now, I can see how this card marks the power and boldness of beginning of a new venture.  Starting a project that you’ve planned and seeing your first successes is indeed a rush.  You feel on top of the world and opportunities that you never dreamed of start popping into your head.  At the same time, you must stay focused on your goals and continue working hard.  The Two of Wands is about the tension between staying grounded in reality, with all of its concerns, and allowing yourself to work on a dream.  This requires the faith of knowing the big picture is out there, coupled with the drive to continue and not get distracted with petty details. 

For me, this card echoes my recent success in business as well as my fears of failure.  I think the card was telling me that is is normal to respond to a success with mixed emotions and it reminds me that things are only beginning.  While I may be on solid ground, like the Rider Waite Smith version of the Two of Wands, I am still exposed.  The winds of change still reach the man on his castle-top.  Or, conversely, in my version I am not on solid ground just yet, and am even more vulnerable.. but I am working my way to a greater destination.

 

Creating this card opened my eyes to the meanings held within the Two of Wands.  It was an exciting experience that created a new relationship between myself and the two of wands. 

 

If you find yourself having trouble grasping the notions of a particular card, you may want to try this technique and see what happens.  Feel free to create an entirely new version of the card or to keep some elements and do away with others.  Even creating an identical verison of a card can help you adjust your understanding and shed new light on the card’s meaning.

 

Feel free to share your own experiences with creating new versions of cards or card replicas.  I’d love to hear about what discoveries you’ve made through this exercise!

Mixed Signals, Making Mistakes, and Moving On!

The other week, I read tarot at a particularly challenging party.  The hostess for the party was going through a rough time in her marriage and, no matter who was sitting in front of me for their reading, the cards focused again and again on her marital difficulties. 

Now, I’ve experienced similar instances before.  One time, I was reading for a new client and the cards adamantly addressed issues in my personal life.  Of course, I didn’t realize that until halfway through the reading.   I was floundering and the person across from me was trying desperately to see how the cards made sense for his life.  Suddenly, it dawned on me.  The cards that came up weren’t for him.  See, up until that point, I was avoiding an issue that I didn’t want to deal with and not using tarot for myself, but the cards were going to talk to me whether I liked it or not.  They took the opportunity to communicate my needs during this man’s reading and it was definitely an eye opener!  Ever since that day, I always make sure the tarot and I have communicated clearly before I read for others.  Other times, the cards may be appropriate for the client, but they focus on something from the past and not the present.  Usually, once I realize the issue, I am able to clear the energy away and start fresh with a new reading.

But, at the party a couple of weeks ago, that just wasn’t happening.  Part of me wanted to give up and part of me wanted to forge ahead.  It was exhausting.  I had to deal the cards for each person a few times before the reading felt right.  By the time it was the last person’s turn, I dealt the cards a few times, but there was no escaping the dominant energy in the hostess’s home.  I had to let go and tell the woman that I couldn’t do her reading.  For the rest of the night, I was consumed with thoughts about the party.  My confidence had been shaken and I was concerned that mixed signals might become a norm in the future. 

The next morning, as I looked through my notes from each individual reading, I found that I’d written down many of the cards that came up incorrectly.  I wrote down the wrong card numbers and suits.  At the time, I had no idea how tired and shaken I was by the experience.  The mistakes in my tarot notes and the time it took to recover from the party were concrete proof that I had unwittingly given away much of my energy that night.

Since then, I’ve worked a few more events and I’ve certainly gotten better at taking time out, checking in with myself, and making sure that I’m not getting drained.  I am also experimenting with different ways to clear energy before each reading to ensure that there are no mixed signals (I haven’t found my perfect technique yet, but I’ll let you know when I do!). Another benefit of that party is that when there are mixed signals or I feel that I am not connecting to the person I am reading for, I can identify it more quickly and I no longer try to force the reading.  It may seem like a tarot faux-pas, but I just reshuffle the cards and start over instead of draining my energy trying to put together puzzle pieces that just won’t fit.  Surprisingly, my clients are impressed that I know when I’m not connecting with them through a reading and they appreciate my willingness to start over.  Being able to do this quickly is a huge help because it doesn’t eat up as much time for me, which is vital.

With all of the years I’ve been reading tarot, I didn’t expect that such an issue would come up like the one at that partly.  It seems there are certainly still areas that I need to work on.  While I’ve heard many people tell me to protect myself when reading and take frequent breaks, I had to experience the exhaustion that comes with not following that advice before I understood how true it was.  Now, instead of acting the way I would at an office job and working through lunch, I know that taking breaks and caring for myself is one of the most (if not the most) important parts of being an effective and sane tarot reader. 

I think part of the reason I’m writing this post is not only to share with you an experience I’ve had recently with reading tarot, but also to give those of you who, like me, jump in head-first a little nod.  So often, people that write about tarot on forums or in books make it seem like they don’t make mistakes.  Sharing your own blunders or concerns can be difficult when it feels like you’re the only one who isn’t getting it right.  While those apparently perfect readers are probably just looking to help and may be insecure themselves (though unwilling to admit it), it can be crushing for a sensitive person like myself to ask a silly question or mention a problem and get a seemingly unsympathetic response.  This post is more about telling you that perfection is probably just a myth–or damned close to it–in the world of tarot.  You’re not going to get it right every single time, but you can try.  And, it’s okay to dive in and learn things the hard way… sometimes, it’s the only way I learn anything (for better or for worse!).

Tarot Grab Bag Post: Strained Relations Between the High Priestess and the Emperor

Nothing is really grabbing me, as far as writing a post goes.. but I want to write anyway!  Let’s see what happens when I let the tarot do the talking and pull a few cards…

Using my Intuitive Tarot deck I got the High Priestess and the Emperor. 

The High Preistess and The Emperor from Intuitive Tarot

This is a very interesting combination that definitely has personal significance for me.  Recently, I was in a situation with someone who thought they were the Emperor (though I have my suspicions that he was really a reversed Knight of Wands in the Emperor’s new clothes!) and, meanwhile, I felt like the High Priestess.  We didn’t get along very well and it’s been bugging me ever since.  In trying to think of anything about him that I liked, I could come up with nothing.

Here, the tarot is challenging my perspective a bit.  First of all, I feel like showing us both as major arcana cards makes the issue a little more distant.  These are just two tarot cards–two people–representing different phases of life.  Neither one is better than the other; though this is hard for me to accept.  I, of course, value the hidden secrets of the High Priestess over the Emperor’s blatant phallic potency.   But, the fact that they are both powerful cannot be denied and, I have found the Emperor to have a unique value, as you can see in my Year Card Post

…I am having a total block here.  I want to delve deeper, buy my anger will not subside. 

Isn’t it funny how projection can hinder a reading?  I remember when I was much younger and starting out reading the cards for others.  There was a girl that I read for and I couldn’t stand her boyfriend and every single card, to me, drove home what a jerk she was dating.  The entire reading was skewed based on my emotional hang-ups.  Needless to say, the reading had no real value.  My feelings robbed the cards of what they were trying to tell her and she was not impressed.  To this day, I think of that reading when my emotions get in the way.  I think all tarot readers have a story like this one when they first start out.  It is an essential part of learning the ropes and it’s still something I struggle with on occasion.

Like now.. Here I am years later, letting my feelings get the better of me.  (Taking a few deep breaths and trying to detach a little) Okay, the difference between these two cards that stands out to me right now is the way they approach things.  The High Priestess would take things slowly, allowing them to unfold on their own; while the Emperor would take the lead and make things happen.  Neither of those approaches is bad, but together both parties would have to be open for the experience to be of value.  Unless the Emperor values the input of the High Priestess, she will be utterly ignored and her truths will not be revealed.  But, if the Emperor were to listen, more could be accomplished and they would be stronger.  The High Priestess, being a naturally passive card, would only need to be available for the Emperor and not shut down.

Too true. In my encounter with this fellow, I wanted there to be balance and  I knew I had knowledge that could improve our situation.  When first meeting him, I was the High Priestess at her best.  I wanted to share my own experiences and learn about his life.  I thought he would be a spiritual person from what I’d heard, so I went in expecting him to be open–not only to sharing but to listening.  When I found that this was not the case, it brought out those negative aspects of the High Priestess in me.  I was overly sensitive and emotional and I basically shut down after a while.  Meanwhile, he just stayed the same–he may even have worsened, if I’m not mistaken; becoming those negative aspects of the Emperor to a severe extent.  He was bossy, aggressive, and stubborn; pointing out whenever I made a mistake (which is not a good thing to do to a High Priestess in a bad mood!).  I am still reeling from the experience..

Meanwhile, the cards are trying to reel me in.  Well, the cards do acknowledge that I have value, if they represent me as this great card.  And, they do acknowledge that I have power–even if it isn’t the in-your-face kind of the Emperor.  I think the tarot is telling me not to take it all so personally.  He is who he is and I am who I am and there’s nothing wrong with that.  I am just as valuable as I was before I let him make me feel like I wasn’t.

Oh, and one other thing.  While this man was exhibiting many of the negative aspects of the Emperor; he does have the potential for all of the Emperor’s wonderful aspects, too, so I can’t write him off completely as a human being–even if I want to!

What do you think about the pairing between the High Priestess and the Emperor?  Do you think they would have a hard time getting along?  Your input would be greatly appreciated, not only because it’s just plain interesting–but because I would love to hear another perspective on my reaction to this person!

I Dream of the Nine of Pentacles #1

Prompted by my friend Jen from Cat-n-Owl’s suggestion, I recently decided to work with one particular card over the course of the next few months.  While several cards have been repeating for me lately, I decided to work with a card that captures something I strive for; the Nine of Pentacles.

For as long as I’ve owned a tarot deck, I’ve been dazzled by the casual, confident and–above all–comfortable woman depicted in the Nine of Pentacles.  In a recent free-form reading I did regarding my tarot business, the Nine of Pentacles appeared and sparked my imagination.  For me, at this moment, the card is about changing my relationship to money and myself.

In a comment to my Wheel of Fortune post, Jen shared her own experience working with the Wheel of Fortune.  Over the course of a year, she entered the card using creative visualization.  Each time, she came away with something different and Jen found that her relationship with the card deepened.  This is my goal in working with the Nine of Pentacles. 

There's Betty, looking content in the Nine of Pentacles from the World Spirit Tarot

 For this visualization, I used an exercise from Mary Greer’s Tarot for Yourself.

I relaxed and imagined entering the Nine of Pentacles from the World Spirit Tarot.  At first, the woman in the card seemed surprised to see me.  I felt as though I’d interrupted her, but she quickly regained her composure and put me at ease.  She invited me into her house, but I said I’d rather sit outside.  She had a lovely table overlooking her view of the ocean that we moved over to.

She told me her name was Betty and asked me if I liked her house.  I told her I liked it very much and I wished it was mine.  I loved the ocean view, the garden, and the airiness of the place.  Then, a funny thing happened.  Betty told me I could have her house and everything in it if I killed her.  It wasn’t a sarcastic remark and I knew that right away.  She meant it.  I told her I couldn’t do that and she insisted.  She said, “Don’t you want my house?”

“But it wouldn’t be mine,” I surprised myself with this response.  Not because it wasn’t true, but because it was utterly true.  I don’t think I could have come up with that answer if I were in my waking, day to day state of mind.  Normally, I like taking shortcuts to get to a beautiful finish line like the Nine of Pentacles.  And while killing someone is not a shortcut I would ever take, in the world of creative visualization, it isn’t necessarily a crime.  Still, I was not willing to kill Betty, even in my imagination, for gorgeous new digs.

She asked me what I mean and I explained (as much to myself as to my kind hostess) that owning something doesn’t mean as much if you haven’t taken a journey to get there.  Sure, I would live in a beautiful house, with beautiful things and a beautiful view, but without memories of achieving those things they wouldn’t have as much value.  The beauty would be hollow and my enjoyment would be superficial.  I would not look out the window and see my view, but a view that was taken from someone else.  Earning through destruction would disconnect me from my goals–even once achieved.

In that moment, I realized the shortcuts I’d been looking for to earning financial independence were distractions.  Not only that, but they were destructive.  In a sense, I had been killing someone in the hopes of getting ahead in the world of finances; myself.    So often, throughout my life, I’ve made money (and spent it) without any regard for my authentic self.  I’ve steamrolled my dreams and my self-worth to get ahead and I never got there.   I realized that I can’t just make a lot of money at a job I hate or, more importantly, makes me hate myself (which I’ve done for the majority of my life) and think that will magically make me happy.   Earning through such destructive means always ended with me throwing away the money I made because I did not feel connected to it.  Eventually, it also led to feelings of guilt, worry, and self-loathing (which is never good) because I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me.  Thanks to Betty and my journey into her world, I realized there’s nothing wrong.  It’s just that  I have to be connected, in a deep way, to my success in order to enjoy it and that means earning money in a way that honors who I am as a person, instead of disregarding it.  Once again, I discovered that the journey is as important (if not more important) than the destination–especially for someone as sensitive as I am.

I thanked Betty for her time and asked her if she had anything to give me.  She replied that the Lovers had already given me a key, so I didn’t need another one (this was true, the Lovers had given me a key on a chain in the past).  Without saying it, Betty indicated that I had something to give myself.  I realized that it was time I learn about money and my relationship to it.  If I wanted to have the kind of life that I admired in the Nine of Pentacles, it would not come through luck or by easy means.  It would come through learning, work, and maybe a little magic.

This was my first entry into this favorite card.  As you can see it was a very fruitful one (can we expect anything less from a card that manifests as much as the Nine of Pentacles?).  I plan on taking more journeys there as the year progresses.  I will share with you each revelation.  Please, also, feel free to share with us your experience with entering a card and how it may (or may not) have changed your perspective.  Happy reading!

Why Do You Read Tarot?

One of the first things I heard when I started my own tarot business is that it is important to define the kind of client you want.  This exercise aims to find your target audience for marketing and, also, gives you an idea of what to look for when speaking to potential clients.  While many people can quickly define who they do and don’t want as clients, I had a more difficult time.  I’ve found great clients in all backgrounds and age groups and a wide variety of spiritual backgrounds.  In fact, not wanting to limit the people I could reach with the tarot, I wasn’t interested in answering the question.  It did, however, lead me to a more effective question for shaping my business and services.

The more significant question for me was: Why do I read tarot? 

Surprisingly, I couldn’t answer this question in a split-second.  It required thought.  What were my goals in reading the tarot for others?  What do I want a client to walk away with at the end of a session?  The answer not only informed me of how to shape my business, but also of the reading techniques that I value most–as well as ones to work on.

For me, my ideal reading session would have many aspects. 

First of all, I want clients to feel like they’ve received valuable insights into their lives.   Of course, a lot of this depends on the cards, themselves, but another aspect of it is helping clients pinpoint their concerns and questions. This goal also requires that I connect with a client on a deep and practical level.

Another important aspect is that clients leave feeling they have direction or confirmation for their lives.  This also means making sure a client understands what I’ve said.  My goal hints at the nature of client best suited for my readings; someone who is open to receiving input and advice about their current situation.  I want someone who is not only concerned with the future, but also with the present.

Perhaps one of the more surprising goals I have is helping my clients feel connected to something spiritual beyond themselves.  This one can be tricky because, like so much in life, it is about timing and the universe.  It also relies on me taking chances with the tarot; letting it lead me to unchartered “psychic” territory.  When I realized this goal, I uncovered one of the most important aspects of my relationship to the tarot; it gives me a life map where I’ve never found one before.

When I meet all my goals in a tarot session, hope can be restored and healing can occur.  Now, of course, not every session is like that.  Many people have more surface concerns and that’s fine.  But, every so often, a connection is made that has an undeniable power.  These readings are the reason I read tarot and love it so much.

What about you?  What are your goals when you read the tarot?  In thinking about it, did you find any surprises??